A Confession to Dorothy Francis [Short] Doerfer
Dear Mom. It’s Mothers’ Day and I am remembering you with love which I have done on most of these special days over the years. Sadly, it comes to mind that I have given you more mental and heartfelt love in these days than I ever gave you in the nineteen years we shared a household. I really believe the phrase ‘I love you’ was scarcely heard in the Doerfer and Short families and, as I recall the phrase was just as absent in the years of my presence with you.
It’s also my impression that part of your motivation for marrying my father was to find the love and security you passionately desired. Sadly, it didn’t happen and after ten years, the birth of a son and another child on the way, he deserted us. Over the next ten years, your self-centered adolescent and teen-age son, to my knowledge, never uttered the phrase ‘I love you’ or said ‘thank you’ near enough. I understand your third ten-year period as a single mom with my sister were somewhat of an improvement in hearing expressions of appreciation for your motherhood.
You did have three men in your early years as a single mom who wanted to fill the gap of love in your life, but because of your concern of the effect that each of them may have had on your children, you sacrificed another married life and turned them away. There was a fourth man of interest but because he just couldn’t give up the wife he still had, that relationship went nowhere as well. In my unsolicited opinion, you were better off without any of them.
The rest of your life, especially after retirement steadily improved in demonstrations of love, verbally and physically, thanks to your daughter and her family. At least, in phone calls and two personal visits from 2000 miles away, I was finally able to say, ‘I love you.’ Yeah, I know, I was a slow learner. during that time, but in the years I have left I will faithfully give you my love in heart and mind.
Since 1989 you have been within the love and oneness of God, which is the ultimate destiny to which we will all spiritually return.
And so it is. Your loving son, Rolland.